TITLE: I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy!
SUBTITLE: Why you shouldn’t say it, why you shouldn’t think it, what you should embrace instead
CATEGORY: Parenting/Non-fiction
AUTHORS: Aaron Cooper, Ph.D. and Eric Keitel, M.Ed.
PUBLISHER: Late August Press, Chicago
PUBLICATION DATE: February, 2008
PAGES: 175
BINDING: Trade softcover
ISBN-13: 978-0-9797926-0-1
LOC: 2007931947
PRICE: $15.95
(Aaron Cooper, Ph.D., and Eric Keitel, M.Ed. are available for interviews on the
following topics:)
1. Youth in Trouble. Research reveals that youth today are more worried, anxious, and depressed than
youth in earlier decades. Many factors play a role, but I just want my kids to be happy, the mantra of millions of parents nowadays, may be a leading culprit, shaping
children who are less resilient, and more distressed by the ordinary challenges
of daily life.
2. What’s for Dinner? Millions of parents have pledged their allegiance to the happiness of their
children: I just want my kids to be happy. But few parents know that families who sit down together for dinner five or
more times a week seem to have happier children—less depression, better grades in school, less involvement with drugs and alcohol.
3. What Happened to Child’s Play? Millions of parents have pledged their allegiance to the happiness of their
children: I just want my kids to be happy. But few parents know that abundant time spent in free, unstructured play,
beginning in the earliest years of life, lays a critical foundation for
happiness later on. Research shows that kids spend less time engaged in true
play compared to generations past, which may compromise their future happiness.
4. The Myth of Quality Time. Millions of parents have pledged their allegiance to the happiness of their
children: I just want my kids to be happy. But few parents know that a child’s happiness in later life—and their healthy emotional development—depends more on the quantity of time spent with a parent than limited chunks of
so-called quality time.
5. Your Teenager Won’t Admit It! Despite how it may seem—teens holing up in their room with an iPod or on the cell phone, yakking with
friends—studies have found that teens themselves admit they’d like more time with parents. Feeling connected to parents is an important
dimension of any youngster’s life—it’s an important contributor to a child’s happiness—and teens are no exception.
"This relevant book gets it just right! The key to real happiness isn't by
keeping a smile on our kids' faces. The important lessons for parents to impart
are all inside this practical and helpful book."
Antoinette M. Saunders, Ph.D., author of The Stress-Proof Child: A Loving Parents’ Guide
"Almost every parent wishes happiness upon their children more than anything else. "I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy!: Why You Shouldn't Say It, Why You Shouldn't Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead" is a guide to help parents accomplish that goal and plant the seeds of the traits that bring happiness - the seeds of optimism, kindness, and more. A must for any parent striving to promote a good psychological future for their children, "I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy!: Why You Shouldn't Say It, Why You Shouldn't Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead" is highly recommended for community library parenting collections."
Midwest Book Review
"Our devotion to our children's happiness can sometimes lead us astray. This
excellent and important book describes the common missteps every parent should
know about."
Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness
and Driven to Distraction
"This book feels so new and rich...the perfect guide for parents who want their
children to enjoy truly contented lives. It takes more than providing kids with
a stream of feel-good moments, and this wise book points the way.”
Kama Einhorn, senior editor, Sesame Street Magazine
"Instead of expressing a generic hope for our kids to lead happy lives, we can help them plant meaningful seeds to sprout happiness in multiple ways. Cooper and Keitel... translate the most recent happiness research into approachable language that results in specific actions parents can begin using with their kids right away...Focusing primarily on the happiness of our children provides them with false messages about their emotions--primarily, that only happiness is acceptable...This book provides the reader with the most important and basic paths to truly supporting their children's happiness.”
Allison Aboud Holzer, MAT, CPCC, www.pursuit-of-happiness.org
"Many parenting books are happy to tell you what NOT to do. This book delivers on the promise to tell you what you should do. Cooper and Keitel devote the majority of the book to providing well-researched suggestions for everyday actions you can take to nurture a healthy attitude in your children...The appendix alone is worth the price of the book. Do you know a parent? Buy them this book. They will thank you for it.”
Nancy Illing, educator and author, Sparks Ignite Imagination
"Fantastic! This book takes complicated concepts and makes them very
understandable. I've never seen it as well done.”
Mary Doheny, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, Chicago
"Many parents confuse happiness with short-term pleasure. Instead of allowing their kids to work through unhappy times, they feel it's necessary to make sure kids never experience disappointment, sadness, and other unpleasant emotions. What parents don't realize is that those feelings help kids grow up to be emotionally mature adults...Just because your kids appear to be happy doesn't mean they really are. Kids try to please their parents, and you might be surprised to find they're wearing a smile because you've told them you just want them to be happy...If you're truly concerned about your child's long-term happiness, I'd encourage you to pick up a copy of this book. Both you and your kids will benefit from these suggestions.”
"This book could not have come at a better time. I was panic-stricken about getting my 15 month old daughter on the wait lists for all of the 'best' pre-schools in my area. I was writing checks, completing forms, filling out more paperwork than I did for graduate school. Why was I doing all this? So she would be happy, of course. As a new parent, I am guilty of saying 'all I want is for her to be happy' but with no thought as to what that means, or why I even say it. This book took my vague concept of happiness and helped me understand what 'authentic happiness' really is, and how to work toward acheiving it, not only for my daughter, but for me as a parent. I found it to be a very easy read, well-researched, and I really appreciated the fact that the book gave real-world examples on how to apply the theory into our busy parenting lives. I can't recommend this book enough, both as a parent and as a clinical social worker. I am certain I will refer to this book often as a guide to good parenting as my child grows older.”
Stefan Bain, parent & social worker, Oakland, CA
"I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy" provides a wake-up call to parents about how to truly help their children lead happy and fulfilling lives. It's not about the accumulation of things, the drive for success at all costs, or filling every minute to prevent the dreaded "I'm bored". It is about nurturing core strengths, seeking meaning in life, connecting with others, and enjoying the journey as well as the destination. This is an important book for parents and the professionals who work with them and their children. Although an easy read, it provides much food for thought for parents. It would also make a great resource for parent education workshops and should be on the bookshelf of anyone who works with parents.”
Nancy Driscoll, M.A., parent & school psychologist, Raleigh, North Carolina
"As a former teacher with a degree in Early Childhood Education and Human Development, I found this to be a refreshingly thoughtful book. Well-researched, yet easy to read, "I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy..." is filled with insightful, practical suggestions for anyone interested in the well-being of children and the quality of life we share with them.”
Mark Maroney, former teacher, Chicago
"...an amazing book...very powerful, very thought-provoking...a great guide for parents who are trying to raise nice, grounded, optimistic, resilient citizens!”
Lindy Hirschsohn, Chicago parent
"We all want our children to be happy, but at what expense? Cooper and Keitel look at what we want for our children versus what they need...I loved the fact that this book got me asking over and over, Are the authors trying to show us parents how to live right, morally and happily, under the guise of how we can help our children? So many of the pages can be helpful for adults as well.”
Leon Scott Baxter, "America's Romance Guru"
"...extremely valuable book for parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents--and anyone and everyone involved with influencing children...'Authentic happiness' is the kind of happiness that is ongoing...throughout the ups and downs of one's life. It is what we want for ourselves and for our loved ones...and this book will tell you exactly how to do it!”
Virginia Frost DeBord, Marysville, WA
"...should be required reading for all parents, new and old. I learned many valuable lessons for improving the relationship with my teenage and pre-teen sons.”
Sheila Simmons, publisher, Great American Publishers
"What? We shouldn't want our kids to be happy? Instead of focusing on their being happy all the time (causing them to pretend to be happy when they really aren't), we should teach them to accept the full range of feelings so they can handle disappointment, fear, anger, etc. The authors say that this "...want them to be happy" mantra makes us captive to our kids' moods, feel guilty when they aren't happy, and prevents their learning to cope with adversity. As co-author of The Complete Single Father, I've heard how single dads who often have their kids part time, feel they need to make their kids happy to "prove" that they're still a good parent. No doubt single moms feel similarly...Rather than focusing on our kids being happy, we need to let them know that it's important to be healthy, caring, find meaning in their lives, have fine character, practice acts of loving kindness, and be spiritual....This is a most unusual and thought provoking book. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, teacher, etc. this is a special book to open your mind to what really matters in your life and your children's lives, and to prepare them for whatever life brings.”
Elaine Fantle Shimberg, ElainesBooks.com
